Kelly Clarkson's Cautionary Christmas Tale / 2013 / tv special - BAILED
I’m not going to dignify this with an image, or a trailer. Or a clip. Google it if you have to (if you’ve got nothing better to do).
Kelly Clarkson has a mean set of pipes. She just released a christmas album. Televising a live performance of 8 of those tracks, backed by a big band with plenty of stage dressing and lights? Why not. Shoehorning pre-filmed bits into the whole mess and trying to wrap it up in a Christmas-movie narrative, and then relying on Clarkson’s acting ability to carry the story? Trainwreck.
The whole thing has a Muppet movie sensibility (poking fun at the entertainment industry from the inside) - just not quite as punched-up, and desperately lacking jokes. A string of cameos make it slightly more tolerable. Blake Shelton - one of the standouts (whose own special last year was genuinely good) - is given short shrift. Not only do they completely miss the chance for a duet or even a Shelton solo number (he doesn’t sing a single song the whole time), they don’t even use him well for comic relief. He gets a few good laughs - a ranting condemnation of the special as the credits roll is particularly rewarding - but given a bit more screen time or a better acting partner, and with his impish charm and natural comedic timing, he really could have demolished. Ken Jeong steals the show as a smarmy, cynical agent. Always hilarious, even in this sinking ship he summons forth some belly laughs and sneaks in some adult jokes stamped with his creepy / awkward brand of uncomfortable humor. You know you’re having some serious acting issues on set when Jeong is the least outlandish part of any given scene (I lost count of Clarkson’s quizzical takes-to-camera a few minutes in).
Amidst all of the missteps, Reba McEntire and Trisha Yearwood join Clarkson for a great rendition of “Silent Night.” It hovers in above-average territory, until a last chorus, a cappella (with McEntire booming it out in her famous Loretta Lynn oldschool style), takes the song up into the stratosphere. I’m not endorsing this one, just saying that every holiday trainwreck has a silver-bells lining. I made it through to the end, sorta... l had my finger on the fast-forward button the whole time (thank you, DVR, for saving me those precious few minutes of wasted life), so let's chalk this one up as a "bail."
TOH - Touches On Homelessness
AK - Annoying Kid
UWC - Unnecessary Wardrobe Changes
Keep on the keep on,
- Jon Bobby Elf
I’m not going to dignify this with an image, or a trailer. Or a clip. Google it if you have to (if you’ve got nothing better to do).
Kelly Clarkson has a mean set of pipes. She just released a christmas album. Televising a live performance of 8 of those tracks, backed by a big band with plenty of stage dressing and lights? Why not. Shoehorning pre-filmed bits into the whole mess and trying to wrap it up in a Christmas-movie narrative, and then relying on Clarkson’s acting ability to carry the story? Trainwreck.
The whole thing has a Muppet movie sensibility (poking fun at the entertainment industry from the inside) - just not quite as punched-up, and desperately lacking jokes. A string of cameos make it slightly more tolerable. Blake Shelton - one of the standouts (whose own special last year was genuinely good) - is given short shrift. Not only do they completely miss the chance for a duet or even a Shelton solo number (he doesn’t sing a single song the whole time), they don’t even use him well for comic relief. He gets a few good laughs - a ranting condemnation of the special as the credits roll is particularly rewarding - but given a bit more screen time or a better acting partner, and with his impish charm and natural comedic timing, he really could have demolished. Ken Jeong steals the show as a smarmy, cynical agent. Always hilarious, even in this sinking ship he summons forth some belly laughs and sneaks in some adult jokes stamped with his creepy / awkward brand of uncomfortable humor. You know you’re having some serious acting issues on set when Jeong is the least outlandish part of any given scene (I lost count of Clarkson’s quizzical takes-to-camera a few minutes in).
Amidst all of the missteps, Reba McEntire and Trisha Yearwood join Clarkson for a great rendition of “Silent Night.” It hovers in above-average territory, until a last chorus, a cappella (with McEntire booming it out in her famous Loretta Lynn oldschool style), takes the song up into the stratosphere. I’m not endorsing this one, just saying that every holiday trainwreck has a silver-bells lining. I made it through to the end, sorta... l had my finger on the fast-forward button the whole time (thank you, DVR, for saving me those precious few minutes of wasted life), so let's chalk this one up as a "bail."
TOH - Touches On Homelessness
AK - Annoying Kid
UWC - Unnecessary Wardrobe Changes
Keep on the keep on,
- Jon Bobby Elf
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