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| Who knew Jenny McCarthy could act? |
This movie is insane. There's nothing better than jumping into a trashy sequel never having seen the first one. If you laid out the key points - made-for-tv sequel to a generic made-for-tv original, Jenny McCarthy saves Christmas again, Santa has an identity crisis, ambitious she-elf jockeys for power in the workshop - I would assume I would end up bailing. Which I almost did, multiple times. But I stuck it out, and I'm glad I did. Two things kept sucking me back in - Paul Sorvino's phenomenal Santa Claus, and an unsettling subtextual read on the Elves as a dehumanized slave labor force.
Let me just toss this in before I pick up on that elf comment (I know, that's a hard cliff to back up from, but humor me). Jenny McCarthy, as Mary Class (Class - Claus, get it? ...sure) is enjoyable. She's charismatic and easy on the eyes. But here's a sentence I never thought I'd be typing - Jenny McCarthy can act circles around all the other female leads in these movies. Honestly, the bar is set pretty low in this genre, but the girl has a real presence - I think the years of hosting gigs have honed her natural timing and legit crowd work skills, she is constantly responding in real time (a rarity for made-for-tv movies) and she's undeniably present.
Sorvino's Claus is mind-blowing. Claus is ready for retirement and he's getting bored with the Christmas rush, so naturally he decides to dip out for a bit of excitement. His first of many over-the-top appearances comes at a big charity event Mary is running - and where is the old man? On stage, behind a pair of Ray-Bans, upright bass in hand, leading a swanky jazz rendition of jingle bells, of course. Instant classic. Mary's embarrassed "Daaaad!"-ing is right on cue. This Claus is a mischief maker and a costume changer, and every trope is addressed. His hippie drum circle Christmas dashiki is not to be missed.
But let's get to the important stuff. What the fuck is going on with these elves?! It was so much to take in, and there was such a murky morass of subtext swirling around. Between advocating Eugenics, validating race slavery, sympathizing with paternalistic exploitative turn-of-the-century factory practices, and infantilizing the labor force with a work-is-the-reward mentality, this part of the movie is a mess - and super engrossing. I literally couldn't turn it off, the entire time I was thinking, they really put this in a movie?! I had a bit of a Lion King - Nazi hyena / racial purity moment when I realized how cray-cray it was getting. I'll fill you in on the context a bit - the elves are dummies. Like, they're really barely able to function. All they can think about is cookies and toy-making. Apparently they're locked into a contract they signed with Santa centuries ago, and seeing as he's retiring (hoping that Mary picks up the reins, as it were) the elves are up for a new contract. They work for cookies. Ouch. When they ask for pay, the management (remember, Mary is a high-powered corporate negotiator) laughs it off - "What would you do with money?!" - the elves giggle - of course! what would they do with money?, they seem to nod in agreement at their foolishness. You can't trust a dumb elf with money, they'll just buy more cookies. There's a particularly disturbing scene where Santa and Jenny talk about the labor dispute - like it's not bad enough she completely laughs at them for wanting to better their condition, Santa one-ups her - he implies he wouldn't even bother with a new contract or the negotiations, he advises, "just give them a couple cookies, point them toward something shiny, and they'll forget all about it." So demeaning, so harsh, but I guess that's capitalist labor exploitation for ya. We're getting into some sketchy territory. After Mary literally tears apart their list of demands, saying there's "no way in hell" they're getting anything they asked for, she counter-offers with no pay and one break every 6 hours. Seems fair. Merry Christmas, and always remember - the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
SM - Santa Movie
ALE - Abusive Labor Practices
EN - Elfie Nominee - Paul Sorvino, best Santa
Memorable line:
"Dad, where have you been? The elves have gone nuts!" - Mary
"I was at my drum circle, getting in touch with the sacred masculine." - Santa
We shall overcome,
- Jon Bobby Elf
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